I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize