I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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