I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
