something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
