he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
