apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
