I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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