yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
