I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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