Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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