Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize