he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize