but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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