he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
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