He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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