I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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