Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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