He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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