Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize