Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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