Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize