I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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