What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is my gift to your gina
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
