I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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