i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
