stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
