im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
