he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize