Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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