mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
