How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
