Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
