she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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