either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They took my balls.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
