STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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