I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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