It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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