Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
