dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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