I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
