Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
