What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
