office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
