would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
