New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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