oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
