are you still at the devil's house?
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
