i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
