then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
