a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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