We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
