Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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