i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
